sgtslonelyheartsband.sosblog.com - Blog Ruined Writings Of A School Girl : Last posts

17 Apr 2009

New blog- www.writingsofaschoolgirl.blogspot.com

See you there.

Admin · 764 views · 1 comment

08 Apr 2009

I swear, I never know how I get those 20 views or however many there are. never any comments though, but oh well... No comments on my poems either, but hey, I kinda wasn't expecting any (I'm not a good poem writer).

Okay, so, last night Sarah wouldn't reply to any of my texts, and about 9ish, my body kinda clicked off, and I just gave up hope. For those three hours that I'd been texting her and the whole night I thought she'd died or something bad had happened to her. So I was really happy when I saw a text from her when I woke up. Still don't know what happened :s I guess I shouldn't press it, so it's back to the really quiet conversations we usually have.

I know I haven't been writing blogs much, I'm in a phase where I just don't like it (yes, okay, I know I'm writing one now). To be honest, I'm in the phase where I don't really feel like talking over the keyboard. So I'm gonna be flicking on and off and talking over text or something like that. I feel more in the creative writing, poems and stories. I've had to make a folder of them on my computer, more stories, obviously.

Shane's been in my head for a long time now, I wake up in a sweat after a bad dream, or memory of him. I really don't think I can talk to anyone about it atm. I felt like I've talked too much about myself, so I'm just gonna back off and let it be about someone else. I do want someone to talk to, but I doubt it'll happen, so it's just off the agenda. I think, think, that I'm slowly breaking out of the stuff Shane said. While he was alive, it was so hard to talk about something like this, it's getting easier now. But I still believe what he said, almost all of it over that four year stretch. But no-one really wants to hear about it, so I've got nothing else to say. I'll sign off.

Bye

Admin · 568 views · 17 comments

lol

25 Mar 2009

Okay, I've been made to write a blog... Erm, not really much. A little bit of De-Ja-Vo (Or whatever) when I wrote Ame's coursework for her. Why? Coz A) she can't write stories, B) it was Kathryn that asked for my help last year... So yeah, I will be minorly pissed off is she gets a better mark than what I did.

Omg, there's about 6 comments on Kathryn's "Diagnosed" post on her blog, and trust me, those people told her! Lol...

Erck.... Parent's evening yesterday. I hated it. But, hey, it's over, I'm glad.

Got no sleep last night. None. Not a wink. So so so tired. You should see the real copy of this! I'm so tired my hands are typoing badly. It's because of an amazing thing called spell-check that I look like I'm and English genius (which I'm not).

Camp on Friday. Wohoo! I really can't wait. A long weekend, my own tent, surrounded by three guys (okay, worried). I promised Ame that I'd get picture's of them, she wants to rate them. But I love being one higher than all of the other scouts. So fun just being able to help them, while listening to their ideas, or telling them off. But yeah, can't wait ^^

Oli, omg! He's done something tog et him excluded from school.. Or "exam leave" two months early. I'm kinda shocked that he would do anything like that :O

Getting most of my friend's birthday presents out of the way, but I need to buy easter eggs... Damn it, more money being spent. But it's four PS2 games for £20 in Gamestation, so most of my money will be spent in there. (Italian job game! Omg!)

I can't really think of much... Apart from I had a little visit from the gang last night, while I went for a walk. I realized then how much I'm still scared of them. A lot, basically. Not much happened, a bit of a talk, then back home. Done. No harm done :s Not yet, anyway.

To end, here's a quick poem about moving over to a different culture (features in Ame's coursework, which I might post up)

'Its cold,

Even though I sit in de mid-day sun.
I guess London aint got the calypso ways,
Of me place back-home-side.
De sea, its a rubbish-bin-rat colour.
Not de summer sky blue.
De underground system, de people,
It's like de termite hills we get back home,
De little creatures carrying de left-green bags.
In de street, de red buss are like de tough rhinos,
Groaning and straining like de fishermen at de coast.
To tell you de truth, I don't know where I belong,
Sometimes I wake and think de motorway,
Is de exotic sea, and I'm de fisherman's son,
But I is de lucky child, I study in de big university,
I send me money back, I hope it helping.
I still send me pictures back,
Me inbetween de stone lions,
Wishing that dey were real-home-side lions,
They aint de same.
Me skin is different to de London snow,
Coffee bean brown to de white of de eagle chick feathers,
I wish I back home with you,
Coz I don't wish you were here,
It's too scary, for me sister and me brother and you.
I visit you soon, I promise.
See you soon mama."

Admin · 982 views · Leave a comment

Another update

15 Mar 2009

Well, hello again. I know I've been on and off with the updating, don't blame me. I haven't felt like blog-writing. Even my usual story writing's gone down hill. But, that's usual. So, what have I to update? Erm.. Actually, not much. Going down town on Saturday, I didn't actually have anyone to go down town with, and I expected it would be another trip alone. But I met up with half the Youth Council (Oli, Ame, Becky, Kaleigh, Elissa and Shauni). So a trip alone turned into a brilliant one. Although people started peeling off slowly, it was still as brilliant as before. Went round ever clothes shop and tried on one thing we liked there ^^ New outfit for me! But Ame was excited about the Fashion show that was going on at 1, so we went and had a look. :o Hot girls galore! Even Oli (who's gay) managed to fancy the two guys that were on the cat walk. And it was my job to give them his number after they'd got changed. I actually asked one of the female models (the hottest ^^) to give it to them. Oli then dragged us to the next show.. Yeah, all 6 models were looking at us. Omg, embarrassing!

Yeah, I'm worried about Sarah... There's something she doesn't want to tell me, but I don't really mind that. It's more the fact that I can't help in any way :( I'm powerless... But I'll still try, I won't give up.

I'm the main groupie of HarliiQuiin! Aka. Ame's, Emma's, Luch's, Megan's and Amy's band. Omg, Amy can so sing! Bless her heart.... Emma's not to bad either, minus going flat on high notes. Not that I can talk, I'm flat no matter what, lol.

Another reason why going down town was good was because it made me realize that I was getting over Shane. Standing in a crowd, I wasn't looking around to check if he was there, I didn't care who was there or not, as long as my friends where. It's getting easier to talk about, I can say his name quite easily, a couple of years ago, I would never have been able to. "Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself" I know that, but I still couldn't mention him, not even to myself. (Guys, I think out loud, okay? Lol)

As well as Shane, I haven't seen his gang in a while. I hear them, in the Gill, but I haven't seen them. My walks are few and far between now, I only go if something's really bothering me. But I still remember most of the gang. The leader after Shane died, god I hated him... He always called me "Little Missy", even when Shane was around. It scared me actually, he did. Matthew was in the gang as well, not anyone special, but still there... Anna (Shane's ex-girlfriend) was there, but she's going out with the new leader guy (I really don't remember his name right now). Natasha's in there. The word "whore" and "slut" spring to mind with her. She's had two abortions with two different guys, and she's kept the last one... Couldn't she understand what a condom is? Glen's still there. I forget about him. He's kinda the black sheep of the gang, he's the nearest one to Shane, though they both hated each other. They were/are really similar. They think the same, act the same. Funny how they loathed eachother so much.

Anyway, I really can't think of much else to talk about. Oh, Parent's evening's coming up :S:S I'm dreading English... I was on subject report for it, I got a D for my coursework and I'm scared of my teacher. Ah! Panic. I''m going there anyway, I'd like to see Mum arguing with him. She doesn't understand half the stuff he does.

I really don't have much else to talk about, apart from my dream... It was so weird. I was sitting in a room, nothing special, but a woman was sitting opposite me. She looked like she was studying me, and I kinda panicked. I think that's when I hit my head (in real life) on my railing of my bunk bed. But anyway, she started talking. Saying stuff that my friends were "bad influences", giving me the wrong impression. She said something, "This friends, the constant fear of them committing suicide, isn't helpful for you. Because it looks like you're saner then them, you think you're alright, when actually, you suffer badly from depression and insomnia."It was really weird, it seemed really real. There was more stuff, saying that it wasn't a good childhood I had, and that I never got any praise for going through everything I had. She said " You're deprived of the praise and happiness you deserve." I was just like "... Okay...." I don't know, weird dream...

I really actually have nothing else here, so I'm going to go. See you.

Admin · 830 views · Leave a comment

10 Mar 2009

I really actually don't have much to say,I don't feel like writing anything on here.... So, I'd just thought I'd let you know.

Admin · 631 views · 7 comments

Goto Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 11, 12, 13 Next page